This is the first time I have ever tried to blog, I never thought I would put my words and thoughts out there for the whole world to see - even though it will most likely be just me reading! Mr. A and I have been married a little over 2 years. We are in our late 20's - Mr. A is 27 and I am 26.
It wasn't supposed to be this difficult to have a baby. As our RE said "You should look at eachother and get pregnant", and that's exactly what we expected. When we threw away the birth control, we both expected this to take the "normal" 6 months. When we got pregnant after our second cycle neither of us was certain we were ready for it but were over-the-moon excited to meet our child.
The morning of our first ultrasound I began to spot - how is that for timing? An ultrasound confirmed a missed miscarriage. We were told that it was completely normal, that we would probably be pregnant by Christmas and there was nothing to fear. After 2 weeks of bleeding, an ultrasound showed that I was still "pregnant"(ish) and a D&C was scheduled. It was the worst day of my life.
We began trying again right away, to no avail. By August 2010 I had a referrel to an OB specializing in infertility. He took one look at my FF charts and diagnosed PCOS. We were given 4 months of clomid and told that we would probably be pregnant after our first month.
We were referred to the RE in January 2011. He is amazing, and we have been told that he is the best in our fairly large city. He sent us for all the appropriate testing which all came back normal. Mr. A's morph is a little low, but his concentration and motility more than make up for it. Dr M has no idea what is wrong, although he disagrees with the diagnosis of PCOS. We were given the option of clomid/IUI, IVF or a lap. We chose the clomid/IUI and have the prescription for 3 months worth sitting on our counter.
Dr M believes that we will get pregnant on our own and so he recommended we wait 3 more cycles. We have gone back and forth but at this point in time have agreed to wait until October. The prescription mocks me, sitting there. Tomorrow is CD1 which makes the uncertainty even worse. We could get in for the IUI if we wanted to and Mr A has left the decision up to me. I know the right choice for us is to wait, but I have never been a patient person. When I know what I want, I go for it no matter what.
So that is us right now. Making a baby the old fashioned way while counting the days to our IUI. Hoping and praying the IUI will not be needed. I have no idea how I feel anymore, I just want to be a mommy.